


I'm A Creep

by Feeling_Hawkward



Series: Song Fics Because I'm Uninspiring. [3]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Deaf Clint Barton, F/M, Hurt Clint Barton, Inspired by Music, M/M, Multiple Endings, Other, Song: Creep (Radiohead)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22295638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feeling_Hawkward/pseuds/Feeling_Hawkward
Summary: Clint's sad. Nobody loves him, and he just wants to drink himself to death. Saturday's couldn't be any person.
Relationships: Barney Barton & Clint Barton, Bruce Banner/Clint Barton, Clint Barton & Kate Bishop, Clint Barton/Bobbi Morse, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Clint Barton/Sam Wilson, Clint Barton/Steve Rogers, Clint Barton/Thor, Clint Barton/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Series: Song Fics Because I'm Uninspiring. [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1599268
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. Starter.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, can I have an original idea? Yes because I'm currently writing /another/ fic as well. Iell me to stop please, I am v bad. 
> 
> Also, tell me to finish the endings for Disco of the Year 2000 :(( 
> 
> P.s. Listen to creep by Radiohead for your depression to get depression ((yes I stole this from the top comment on the music video))

It’s 2 am, Clint knows he’s supposed to be asleep, but the sweet taste of cider and his phone screen are too important. Music’s playing through his earbuds in hopes of not waking his neighbours. When shuffle play gives him Creep by Radiohead, he decides he wants it on repeat for the rest of the night. Because it accompanies his feelings so perfectly right now. 

He gets up, bottle still in hand, his body turning and moving in time with the music that blasts through the buds. 

Clint wants them here. He wants to be wrapped in their arms. How’s he supposed to do that when he can hardly express his feelings. He can’t tell them how perfect they are. Because in the end, they’ll realise he’s not special at all and is fucking disgusting. They’ll cut off ties with him and he won’t even have a friend. He’ll be drinking alone more nights than not. 

A creep. That’s what he is. He’s a weirdo. Nobody wants him here, and he sure as hell doesn’t belong here. The Avengers don’t need him. They have another sniper that could easily replace him. 

His journey of mindlessly following the music takes him to the bathroom. It’s painful, but God he needs something to ground him. Thighs are bloody now, but it feels better. Like he deserves it. When he looks in the mirror his body still isn’t perfect, he wants them to like him. He wants to be good enough. It’s like they look into his soul as well, they see it’s far from perfect, and ugly like the rest of him.

Lifting the phone back up, he looks to see if he has any notifications. None. Not even his games want to talk to him. They don’t notice that he isn’t at the movie night. They don’t care. They don’t need him. They don’t notice when he isn’t there. They don’t care. 

He’s a mess as he bandages up his legs and gets changed into new clothes to sleep in. 

His fist bangs against the plush bed as he cries into the covers now, sobs wracking his body. He hates this. He wants to be special like them. He doesn’t want to be a creep or a weirdo. 

The tears keep on coming as he lets himself fall asleep, song still going, and the blankets around him are his only comfort. Nobody is there for him. Not now, not ever. 

It’s 11 am that he ends up waking up, the earbuds, aids and his phone have been put on the bedsides table. There’s a presence in his bed next to him, there arm around his waist as they hold him. Clint shouldn’t get used to it. Instead, he put the aids in and sits himself up. 

“You’re awake finally. How much did you drink last night? Are you okay?” They ask soothingly, there hand going through his hair, when he starts to cry again, they pull him closer. “Talk to me.”

“I just wanna make you happy, give you whatever you want. But I can’t you’re so special. I’m not, I’m a creep, a weirdo. What am I doing here? Why am I still alive. I don’t belong here.” He gets out through tears, it’s probably staining their shirt now. 

“Oh, Clint.” They whisper gently and kiss the top of his forehead softly. And that’s all Clint needs right now.


	2. Clint x Bucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winterhawk fluff

“You’re okay. Everything’s going to be okay. I’m right here.” Bucky whispered to him and Clint looked up at him a little sadly. “I missed you at the party. Did you think I didn’t care?”

And now Clint was embarrassed, because yes, that was exactly what he thought. His blush was spreading up to his ears now. Bucky just continued to smile and held him in his arms. 

“I should have come to check on you. I’m sorry baby. I love you so much. Why didn’t you come to the party? It wasn’t fun without your acrobatics from the light fixtures.” Clint laughed and laid his head on Bucky’s chest. Sleep was threatening to pull him back in, and he was hoping Bucky would join. 

“It wasn’t a party day yesterday. I didn’t want to message because I didn’t want to annoy you or anything. Sorry, Bucky. Promise I feel much better now. We can sleep?” He asked quietly as he kept himself cuddled up close to him. 

“Of course we can doll. You go to sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.” And with that, Clint slept.


	3. Clint x Natasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have some Clintasha goodness.
> 
> there's like kinda mention to sexc time at the end.

A nice warm embrace is what is making him happy. Natasha is holding him tightly now, kissing his head over and over again. 

“Baby boy. Did you think I wasn’t happy with you? What have we spoken about, you shouldn’t be this self-deprecating.” Her voice was soft, soothing, and was cooling Clint off, and already making him feel better. 

“Missed you so much. Thought you were mad at me after yesterday. Didn’t message me.” 

“I was mad then, but I’m not now. I shouldn’t have let my anger get in the way of my care for you.” Natasha felt guilty, and Clint knew that. So he reached up to kiss her gently. 

“I’m fine. Not hurt… Well not too bad. I drank too much.” 

“Yes, you drank enough for even Steve to get drunk. Should I make it up to you baby? Should I make you feel good again?” Nat’s hand was now dipping lower, making its way down his chest. Clint let out a quiet moan and bucked his hips up, already waiting for her to get on with this. He was so ready and excited. Sex with Nat was the best. 


	4. Clint x Phil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil is gonna make Clint better and you can't stop him.

“I brought you breakfast, some water, and some painkillers as well,” Phil spoke up after a couple of minutes and sat up to hand them all over to clint. The tray of breakfast consisted of chocolate chip pancakes and strawberries. Of course, Phil knew what he wanted. Phil was the best. 

“Thank you. You really didn’t have to.” Clint said with a smile, but still took the pills and dug into his breakfast. “Can we like, also just ignore everything I said. Thank you.” 

“No Clint. We’re not going to do that.” Phil’s voice dropped to a more serious tone. “You want to make me happy? Do you think I’m sad Clint?” 

“No of course not sir- I mean Phil. I just really like you. But you’d probably not want that. So I just wanna make you happy and ignore my feelings.” Clint looked down into his lap as he suckled on one of the strawberries. 

“And who told you that I didn’t like you?”

“I mean I like you like you…” 

“And who told you I didn’t like you like you?” Phil whispered as he got even closer to Clint. Clint stopped eating his breakfast and looked up at Phil. “Because I like you like you a lot.” 

“I like you like you too,” Clint whispered against Phil’s lips, before giving them a gentle kiss.


	5. Clint & Kate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BFF's Clint and Kate. Kate is a supportive best friend.

“I am happy Clint. But you’re not. Let’s get you up and cleaned and dressed. You smell like a nightclub at 2 am.” Kate said while trying to push him out of bed. Of course, it was met with a large groan and a push back. 

“Leave me alone. I wanna wallow in my depression. Go away.” Clint groaned and rolled over onto his front to bury his head into the pillow. 

“Stop being stupid. Get out of bed. We’re going out for breakfast. Then, we’re going to the range because you have a session this afternoon.” Kate kept on pushing Clint until he finally got out of bed. “There we go. Good boy. Shower. Clothe yourself and then we’ll go. I’ll even pay.”

And that got Clint moving quickly. Basically running to the shower and scrubbing himself down. When he got out he changed into the purple shirt and the usual jeans, slipped on the usual sneakers and walked out the door, along with Kate. They walked down the usual path to the diner, making small talk. 

“You gonna tell me who they are? Are you going to tell them about their feelings?” Kate asked once they were sat in the usual booth. 

“But you’re gonna call me an idiot!” Kate raised her eyebrow, giving her that questioning look. He had to tell her. 


	6. Clint x Thor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I love it. Okay. I can't help being in love with stupid blondes.

“T-Thor. You’re crushing me. Please move buddy.” Clint gasped out after a few minutes, Thor was basically laid across his chest. And Thor was not a small guy. 

“Of course.” Thor rolled over to be next to Clint and laid an arm across his waist. “Why were you not at the party yesterday my friend. We missed you.”

“No, you didn’t. You had fun.”

“But, eye of the hawk. It would have been much more fun with you there.” Thor’s hand reached up to gently brush Clint’s hair back, but Clint flinched away. “I had plans to take you to my floor afterwards. Asgard was beautiful, and you would have loved to see it. Plus my bedchamber is very plush. You would have enjoyed it.”

Clint looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Why’d you say that? Why would you want me to do that?” The disbelief was very apparent in his voice. 

“Because you make me happy little hawk. And I hope that I make you happy too.” Thor’s grin was bashful and Clint’s cheeks felt hot.

“Take me to Asgard tonight.” He whispered against thor’s chest, happy enough to go back to sleep.


	7. Clint x Bruce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce is a good doctor. And wants to make his patient better.

“You are wonderful Clint, and you do make me happy. Take some ibuprofen and water. It’ll help with the headache. I also made you some green tea. That will also help.” Bruce passed them over to Clint and continued to sit up against the headboard. He pushed his glasses up his nose and smiled down at Clint, who followed Bruce in sitting up. 

“M’sorry. Yesterday not a good day. Not taken my medicine in a few days. Hit harder than usual. But then, I also had the mania earlier on in the day. It’s why I turned my phone on do not disturb. B-but I didn’t realise that later on and thought you were ignoring me.” Clint started to cry as he got closer to Bruce, moving into his side. Bruce wrapped his arm around Clint’s shoulder and kissed his head gently. 

“Shhh, I’m not mad honey.” Bruce helped Clint to drink his tea and gently kissed his head. “Let’s spend today in bed okay? We can just relax and cuddle. Although Natasha does want to see you later on.” Clint nodded along and finished the tea, before moving down to lay back under the covers again, his boyfriend was the best, and ultimately gave the best cuddles.


	8. Clint x Bobbi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Bobbi are in my top 3 ships. fight. me. I love them.

“I’m sorry Bobbi,” Clint whispered after a few minutes as Bobbi played with his hair. “Do I make you happy? Are you okay with me? Am I good.” He asked, the tears threatening to start spilling again. 

“Clint… Why didn’t you tell me? This. You make me so happy Clint. I love you so much, and you know that. But you said this couldn’t work. About the whole-”

“I know what I said. But I didn’t mean it. Well, I did. I was scared. Still am. Killing people- It just-” He was panicking, and she was still trying to soothe him by gently stroking his arm. 

“You told me everything. We could work through this again. You know we can. We’re meant for each other.” Bobbi reassures him. Clint’s hair is a little longer after coming back from being ronin. But Bobbi figures that she likes it. He’s her clumsy blonde weirdo, and she doesn’t want that to change. Her heart had broken when he told her that he wanted to go through with the divorce. 

With a small groan, he moved closer to wrap his arm around her waist and lay his head on her shoulder. 

“Can we? I want to. Missed you not being in my bed. It’s cold and sad.” Clint said as he cuddled up close. 

“Of course. I’ll be here for however long you want me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have 3 more endings: 
> 
> Clint x Steve   
> Clint x Sam  
> Clint x Tony
> 
> I'm hoping to get them done soon :D


	9. Clint x Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love my two stupid blondes.

Steve obviously, was laid there with his shirt off, his hand still gently through Clint’s hair. His fingers were gently stroking some of the tears that had been slipping down Clint’s cheeks. The hands were soft compared to Clint’s. They didn’t have any calluses, on his palms all his fingers. Was that a weird supersoldier thing, or did he just have a really great hand care regime?

“What you thinking about baby?” 

“Your hands. Keep touching my face please.” 

Steve chuckled and kept on stroking Clint’s cheek, he gave him a little kiss, pulling him closer to his chest. 

“How come you didn’t ring yesterday?” Clint spoke up after a little while of the sweet touches. Steve looked at him a little confused, the touches stopping for a short while. 

“I did. Multiple times… Do you not remember. I came back at 3 am, we had a conversation.” Steve said slowly, his arms tightened a little more. “Did you have another blackout? I thought you were-”

“I felt like I was getting better. Wanted to be better for you. The pills… I felt like they weren’t working. I felt even more paranoid and-”

“It’s okay Clint. It’s fine. We’ll go see the doctor, and you can talk with Dr Bultmannn about this on Thursday.” Steve explained, before leaning in to give Clint another kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't explicitly say it, because this is just a natural conversation, but Clint has PTSD. A blackout is not passing out, but when a person experiences an 'episode' and then isn't able to remember what happened afterwards.


	10. Clint x Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love my bird babies. Also, my love for sam has grown over the course of like 2 days. I'm in love.

“My bird brother. What happened to bring all this along?” 

“Just- Nothing. Doesn’t matter.” Clint stopped himself for talking. He did not want a second day of heartache. But, ultimately, Sam worked for the VA, so Clint would probably be discussing his messed up childhood and his circus days before he could stop himself. 

“Well, if it causes you to drink yourself dumb, and hate yourself, then I think I should know. Or else I’m going to have to make those mandatory psychiatric appointments, to two times a week instead-”

“No. Oh my God no Sam. I wouldn’t be able to stand so many hours with Dr Wright.” He whined in a high pitch and buried his head into the pillow. “I like you a lot. A lot a lot.” He grumbled into the pillow. “Scared you didn’t like me back. Hid it. Want to make you happy.” He continued and then turned his head to look at Sam. 

“You idiotic bird brain. Was me telling you that your ass was a gift given by God, not an indication to my feelings towards you?” Sam chuckled, his hands were moving down Clint’s hips slowly, and back to clutch at his ass. “Like you too, you stupid ass bird. Now, give me a kiss.”


	11. Clint x Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billionaire and his sugar baby. Just kidding : ) that's probably gonna be a different fic. 
> 
> I decided to sprinkle in a little bit of Angst. Enjoy the last ending.

“Your bed is uncomfortable. Let me buy you a new one.” Tony chuckled, pushing his sunglasses - why was he wearing sunglasses indoors - further up his face. 

“I don’t want a new one. I’m usually in your bed anyway.”

“Yeah- I missed you last night. Although it seems like both of us got a little bit too drunk. I got your missed calls when I woke up.” Tony reached to scratch the back of his head, and Clint used that opportunity to come and lay his head on his chest. “Sorry I wasn’t here yesterday that’s what friends are-”

The look on Clint’s face must have made Tony stop talking. Friends. Of course, that’s what they were. They were friends who occasionally slept together and exchanged small kisses. They were nothing more, because- because Tony did not want that. Tony didn’t want any more relationships, and Clint had tried to convince himself that he also didn’t need a relationship. But he did. He needed one bad. 

Clint and Tony tended not to talk about their emotions, and would instead they would just usually fuck it out. Clint didn’t want it today. Clint wanted to speak about his emotions, and he wanted Tony to confirm the feeling. 

“I don’t want to be just friends I want more.”

“Clint I-”

“Get out of my bed Tony. I’ll see you-”

“Hush. Let me finish. I was about to say I feel the same way. And I was going to ask you about it anyway.”

“Oh well. I guess you can stay a little longer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I've finally done. Just wait for me to start my fic on Clint being a lover of Jeremy Bentham.

**Author's Note:**

> Please follow me on twitter @_megwan to try and encourage me to tweet more. I'm v bad.
> 
> Also. I'm gonna upload all the endings.


End file.
